“They were going to rob my boat with the shark.”
“They were going to use a shark to rob your boat?”
“No–I mean, they were going to take my shark away, the one I was hiding on the boat.”
It’s been a while since we had a dream post (like Rob Lowe and the lettuces and Travel by cookie sheet), and I’ve got new material, because El Guapo is a champion Strange Dreamer. The above conversation came right after my “Buenos Dias, te quiero” this morning, and it got so much weirder.
It seems that Jon had a sailboat and a shark, and he was using the one to transport the other. Even though it was a ten-foot shark, he was easily able to pick the shark up and put it on the deck of the sail boat, happy that it didn’t bite his hand off (when the shark was in the water it was alive and thrashing around, and when it was on the deck it didn’t move at all, though it was still alive). But then he decided that he had to hide the shark–he was in South America, headed home, and knew he would have to pass through customs*, so he decided he should tuck it in the pocket at the front of the boat.
You know those special pockets that backpacks often have, a sort of sleeve meant for your laptop? Well, this sailboat had a special sleeve meant for your shark. But this shark was so big that the nose of the shark stuck out. He covered it with a black plastic trash bag. He says he may have used something to weigh the bag down so it wouldn’t blow off–something like a backpack (which may or may not have had a special laptop sleeve).
“So I was towing the sailboat and the shark…”
“Wait–how? How was this towing powered?” (I was thinking he was in another boat.)
“Well, I was walking, holding a rope, towing the sailboat (a huge sailboat, with a huge shark in the special shark sleeve hidden in the boat), but I could do it because when things are floating, it’s easy to pull them. The confusing part (just the one confusing part?) was that I was walking on land, but the boat was clearly in the water.
“You know how Central America kind of makes a corner at Panama? So as I was dragging my boat I was coming up to that corner (the whole walk through Central America was going to take ten or fifteen minutes.†), and I knew I’d have to go through Customs. Panama was sort of like Main Street USA at Disneyland–big walking space in the middle, buildings manufactured to look quaint, but instead looking kind of fake.
“So I’m looking ahead to Panama, and it turns to the left, and my view is blocked by buildings, so I can’t quite see where it’s going. But I can tell that up ahead they’ve pulled the guy in front of me and his sailboat off to the right, like when you’re going through security and the TSA people get you out of line because they’re going to pat you down. And I could see it was a group of men and women, but they didn’t have official uniforms on. They didn’t have machine guns and they didn’t look like thugs, but I was afraid they were going to rob me of my shark as I walked through. Oh, and my wallet–I was also worried about my wallet. So I walked up and turned to the left, and of course, a woman pulled me off to the side, and told me to put my hands up against the wall. I thought they were going to check me for weapons, and take my wallet and my shark.”
This being a dream, you know that the next thing he said was, “and that’s when I woke up.” So we’re left with various questions–were these guys gangsters? Did they steal his shark, hidden in the special shark sleeve (and covered with a plastic trash bag)? But also these: how was he towing a large sailboat and hefty shark through the water, while himself walking on land, traversing all of Central America, in 10 to 15 minutes?
*One of the tip-offs that this is a dream–because of our travel back and forth to Spain each year we go through customs a lot, but Jon has never once tried to smuggle a shark anywhere.
†A few days ago we drove from Orem, Utah to Portland, Oregon, so I’m sure that the prospect of lengthy travel that might be accomplished in a very short span of time was irresistibly attractive.
[Images: projectaware.org, hdwallsource.com, infoescola.com, cntraveler.com]